Avisha thanks for sharing your mind dump.
You have a mind. But YOU are not your mind.
You have a body but YOU are not your body.
Welcome to the life long journey to find out who YOU are.
It is your self discipline that will make you look within. The answers are all within you.
Ask an empowering question and if you calm your mind, go on a worry free diet and focus your energy the answers will be there when you are willing to listen.
Now what I wrote may seem like a lot of woo woo… it would to me if I read what I just wrote at 18/19!
Trust me though it will start to make you think if you want to.
I recommend checking out Michael Beckwith on youtube or Mindvalley’s Vishen There are loads of other people sharing perspective on the subject but it is hard to put into words since each person’s journey to self discovery is unique.
These 2 people have helped me see within the most.
I wish you all the very best on your journey of life and seriously if you have any questions give me a shout out on my email firstname.lastname@example.org