I resonate with your voice. Reading your words made me aware that I have such a long way to go before I reach the level you are at now.
I have only had a small glimpse into your brain/life through your writing but I related to your words.
But… none of us are on the exact same journey. Each of us is experiencing life differently. Even though your story sounds very close to mine (after reading your under the covers story at 2:30 am while my family is asleep.. I still obviously have not learnt enough from burnout earlier this year!) I have become aware enough of myself to not let comparisons, judgements or expectations cloud my confidence.
It may be cliche and damn hard to do, but I am staying patient with the process. Who knows for sure how your voice impacts people in the short or long term. People may not ever communicate how much your words help them.
Some of the books I am reading now were written in the 1960’s by authors who are no longer of this world, but they still impacted me and my “being”. There is no platform I can physically thank them on for their work. I can only say and feel thanks within myself.
Ideally we would like to be alive to see and feel our impact and receive the value in the form of some financial energy but the reality is that part of it is out of our control.
Releasing attachment to the outcome and staying present in the process is not easy. Especially when there are bills to pay and mummy guilt to add another layer of challenge to it all.
We are all enough exactly who and where we are right now. Some might seem to be “winning” in the numbers game but we don’t know what else may be challenging them in life. Each moment, both good and bad if we label them, is here to teach us something about who we are.
Ok maybe I seem like a ranting righteous woo woo person at the moment.. that is not my intention.
All my babble here is basically meant to say “I hear you! I see you! You are worthy! And your writing made me feel like it’s ok to be me.”
Thank you for being you and bravely sharing with us all.